How many times have you lied to yourself? And how often do you believe someone to be deceiving you in your life? It’s more common than you think, and you may not even know it. We tell lies for a variety of reasons. So, we may fabricate information for a variety of reasons, including financial gain, avoiding punishment, or even for the sheer thrill of deceiving another person.
As a result, I often say that white lies are like the lubricant that keeps the gears of life turning. Everyone fabricates. Imagine a world in which everyone always tells the truth. I doubt we’d last more than a day without each other’s company, therefore I’m not optimistic about our chances. To acquire what they want and prevent harm, people tell lies.
So, for example, you may assume that I would fabricate my resume in order to land a desirable position. You may fabricate a story to get more money. People may also tell lies in order to improve their own image in the eyes of others. Think “I’d lie on a dating app” to improve your chances of finding someone special. George Lakoff, a professor at the University of California, says that our personal views influence how we understand facts.
This is why society may be so polarized; anything that questions this is ignored or even attacked. When we’re married, one in ten of our encounters is a type of dishonesty, according to research. Most of what we say to someone when we’re getting to know them or dating them can be misleading in some way in the early stages of our relationship.
Most of the lies we say are white lies, or ones we tell to protect someone we care about. So assume your partner is a budding Picasso, and they show you their latest artwork that they are quite pleased of when they get home from art class one night.
You take a look at it and say, “Mm.”.” That is followed by a simple question: “How do you like my painting?” Yes, that’s something I’d enjoy as well. Even if you paid us, we wouldn’t tell you straight out that we don’t have that up on the wall. The theory of mind, which is our ability to discern the intents and beliefs of others, is used when we learn to tell a lie as youngsters.
University of Massachusetts researcher Robert Feldman revealed that we lie on a regular basis and don’t even realize it. This study found that when strangers met for the first time, they told each other three lies in a ten-minute talk. Until they watched back the footage, they didn’t realize how much they’d lied.
We prefer to think of ourselves as trustworthy, sincere, and truthful people who can be relied upon. If you’re having trouble keeping track of how many times you’ve lied, one cause might be that you’re underestimating how often you do so as a way of protecting your self-esteem and making yourself feel better. Even if you think it’s acceptable to lie in some social contexts, I don’t see the harm in complimenting someone on their appearance. However, are these seemingly innocuous lapses in integrity as benign as they appear? Is it a steep slope to start lying about insignificant things? There are numerous well-known examples of people who began with modest lies and then grew to tell ever larger ones.
Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme is only one example. He claims that he began by telling minor lies, but over time, they grew into a huge snowball.
In other words, because we hold lying to be morally repugnant, it makes us feel bad when someone else does it. However, when we feel an emotion and then encounter the identical stimulus that produced that emotion again, the amount of emotion that we feel is diminished.. For example, it is probable that if we let people get away with tiny lies, they would become more dishonest and eventually commit more serious crimes.
This has ramifications for both education and law enforcement, since it’s important to catch youngsters when they’re lying even when it’s small. People are less likely to commit large-scale acts of dishonesty if we reduce the frequency of small-scale fraud.